[originally posted 9/26/2022]
Lyme and Suicide
I’m not sure if you read the People Magazine article “CEO Shares Heartbreaking LinkedIn Post After Daughter Dies by Suicide Following Lyme Disease Battle”. If not, here is the direct link below:
First, all of my sympathy and love to this family who lost someone at 22 years of age due to Lyme. If you have not read about this young woman’s suicide, please read. I wish that media outlets would refrain from categorizing her death as a mental health mater. I can assure you it was not. READ HER STORY! It is also my story. Almost exactly one year ago (Sept 13th of 2021), I tried to take my own life.
Lyme is brutal on every level. It has given me a great deal of pain throughout the body including joints, back, neck and testicles. It sends electric shockwaves through my body, often igniting convulsions, twitching and tremors. It causes heart arrhythmia and pain. It sometimes squeezes on my heart and leaves me dizzy and needing air. It causes overnight sweats, chills and nausea. However, once it crosses the blood-brain barrier (evading the immune system), it becomes a daily torture in the brain. People with Lyme and its co-infections DO NOT try to commit suicide because they are depressed. Imagine a brain feeling like it is hit with a lightning bolt all day, every day. In addition, the brain feels like it is shaking, thrashing, being squeezed, crushing with pain, the ground is moving, feeling of being thrown around, feeling of being in motion or rocking back and forth when you are standing still. Vertigo comes and goes throughout the day. Lines and patterns, like crosswalks, hurt the head and throw you off balance, head ringing, loud auditory hallucinations, memory loss, confusion, mumbling, blurred vision, eye pain, eye distortion, perception issues, eye floaters, insomnia, feeling like being on drugs - a feeling that switches on and off without warning. Each day you start off with the hope that this will be the day it fades away, and then it attacks you again all day long and through the night as you wrestle with insomnia. Three hours of sleep per night would be considered a lot. These are just some of the things WE as patients have experienced. We think regularly about leaving this world, because the daily torture is too much to endure. My heart goes out to the many people who ended up in a psych ward after trying to escape their illness. These places only make things worse on the patient. They do not need psychiatric drugs pushed on them.
People are almost always dealing with more than Lyme, but first a word on Lyme: A person can get a fairly immediate onset of symptoms from Lyme (a Borellia microbe) after a tick bite. However, symptoms can emerge much later when the bacteria has been reactivated by an “event.” An expert in the field, Dr. Rawls who battled Lyme for 10 years, does a great job of explaining how an “event” in life can cause the immune system to become overwhelmed. Although Lyme might eventually be detected through testing, the event usually brings out several microbes (bacteria, viruses, parasites) like Bartonella, Babesia and EBVirus. When active, all of these pathogens have their own way of systematically invading the host.
Why am I sharing this? Because viruses as well as vaccines are both examples of events that can trigger the immune system to become overwhelmed. We just had a major virus and vaccine added to the mix. These events have disrupted a lot of lives and continue to hurt a lot of people. Both of these can lead to many microbes (that were already in the body) re emerging and breaking down the person’s adrenal, hormonal and endocrine systems. Like so many others, my testosterone levels completely dropped. I had muscle waste and lost 70 lbs in months. My body became fully dysregulated. As I mentioned, it had a major affect on my heart and brain. People that are currently dealing with multiple symptoms and who have seen multiple doctors need to understand that this has happened in the past and it happened to a large group of people during the Covid and Covid vaccine time period.
When this happens each microbe needs to be addressed. Our current medical system is not well equipped to deal with this. They are used to giving a condition a name and then giving it a specific medication. That won’t work when multiple microbes are activated. Chronic Lyme is the term they came up with for people that did not get better after a short term of antibiotics for Lyme. Now they have come up with the term Chronic Covid for people not getting better after the Covid virus. By the way, there are millions of people out of work since the Covid and Covid vaccine period. Honestly, Chronic Covid is a strange diagnosis. If people had Chronic Covid they would be dealing with the same symptoms on a chronic basis that originally occurred with the Covid Virus infection. However, many people started to develop several other strange symptoms after the vaccine and/or the virus. Again, a person today, that has multiple symptoms that are all over the road, is most likely dealing with an immune system struggling to deal with multiple microbes that have become active.
What are the answers moving forward? My personal recommendation to medical system is this: When someone has multiple symptoms, stop thinking that a pill will make it go away. Pills only cover symptoms. My message to doctors is to stop gaslighting patients when the pill you prescribed doesn’t work. When you tell someone all of their symptoms are in their head, you push them one step closer to a suicide attempt. We have enough data to recognize that people with multiple symptoms need a broad test that covers bacteria, parasites and viruses. As a doctor, you need to know if multiple pathogens are active. The longer you wait on testing, the sicker someone gets. The final thing we all have to understand moving forward is that antibiotics and vaccines are not going to work very well moving forward. These microbes have been here a lot longer than humans. They are adapting and they will continue adapting to antibiotics and our bodies are not designed to carry multiple vaccines. In my opinion, we need to stop dumping money into drug companies who get rich off of pills that cover symptoms. We need to research the various herbs & plants that have restored health over thousands of years. Dr. Myriah Hinchey does a great job of breaking down the science of how Lyme invades the host. She also does a great job of showing how different herbs work to protect and restore a person’s system during all stages of Lyme. However, if we only treat the person’s Lyme without looking into whether the person has active Bartonella, Babesia, other bacteria, parasites and viruses like EBV, they will not return to homeostasis.
I had an infectious disease specialist at a major University talk down to me after I shared with him that I tested positive for active Borellia (the pathogen of Lyme). He told me that it’s impossible that I am dealing with Lyme because the many tick bites I had gotten were too long ago. This doctor talked with a high level of arrogance and his statement shows a high level of ignorance to a person who has combed through data and research that suggests the otherwise. Does this doctor really think that the microbes I picked up years earlier just disappeared from my body? Or was my immune system just doing it’s job by keeping it under wraps? Because that’s what a healthy immune system does. Does this doctor and others really believe that antibiotics completely rid the body of microbes? Or is it possible that antibiotics can (given in the acute phase) decrease the microbe load allowing the immune system to regain the upper hand? These tiny microscopic living organisms can travel to every area of the body. They don’t just leave. Pathogens multiply. They hide. They communicate on and intercellular level. They know when the immune system is down. And when it is down, they try to keep it down. We know for a fact that the same virus that causes chicken pox does not go away. It lives in the spinal cord forever until re- emerging as shingles when the immune system is down. After years of doctors denying that EBV could lead to MS, we now have the proof that it’s possible. We have the proof that EBV can lead to cancer. Every time a doctor dismisses the possibility of Lyme and all of these other pathogens re-emerging, they put a patient at risk. At minimum, the doctor should tell the patient “ I really don’t know.”
Liberal tv host Bill Maher had a Conservative writer from the New York Times on his show recently. The writer Ross Douthat, described his years-long battle with Lyme after seeing 10 doctors who misdiagnosed him. My question is, why don’t doctors give patients with a multitude of symptoms a panel that covers all microbes immediately? In the author’s case, he took antibiotics, a combination of natural herbs and other experimental treatments. After many, many years he is about 95% better. I’ve actually corresponded with Ross directly via e-mail. He told me that he was also dealing with other microbes, not just Lyme. Bill Maher said on the episode that doctors are constantly speaking down to patients with authority using outdated science. I recommend the episode to people who are chronically ill. Because people with Chronic Lyme, Chronic Covid, etc live a very hard, lonely existence. Most of you have dealt with doctors telling you that you are not actually sick.
Speaking of chronic illness (meaning ongoing symptoms that do not resolve), there is a doctor named Stephen Phillips who wrote a book titled “Chronic.” He sites a large body of research, studies and cases that indicate that at the root of almost all autoimmune immune diseases like lupus and ms are pathogens. At the root of conditions like fibromyalgia are pathogens. At the root of conditions like Alzheimer’s and Dementia are pathogens. At the root of cognitive and psychiatric disorders are pathogens. At the root of migraines and insomnia are pathogens. The only thing we can say to his claims are…it’s possible. It’s very possible. When we understand the complex nature of pathogens and how they invade organs with a high level of intelligence we see that it’s possible.
We also see that when we use pills to cover the symptoms caused by microbes, we only cover their existence rather than addressing the pathogen load and disrupted systems of the body. Our focus should be on researching all of the natural ways of doing this. Pathogens are almost always unable to build up a resistance or defense against herbs and plants. They do, however, know how to hide and build a resistance to antibiotics. Chinese and Eastern Medicine have treated pathogens with herbs and plants for thousands of years. Many of our antibiotics and medications are designed to replicate these plants.
Of course, patients will have do their part to change the way they live. They will have to live a healthy life. Less stress, healthier food intake, meditation. This will help you avoid a major “event” that can cause the immune system to lose control.
We are at a pivotal and very difficult moment in healthcare, where change is necessary. The truth is, there are tests out there that can detect pathogens. However, most doctors don’t want to go down that path for many reasons. Ignorance and arrogance are two reasons we have covered. Another is, doctors know insurance won’t cover it. Yet another is, if they show you what you have, they most likely wouldn’t know how to treat it. They would lose you as a patient when you leave them in search of a doctor who deals with complex illness. Far too many doctors are in the business of giving your condition a suspected diagnosis and then giving you pills for you to try every few months. This will be difficult to switch over to a system of better testing and treatment, COVERED BY INSURANCE. But we need more research for detection and treatment.
I’m not saying that the medical system is a total failure. Doctors & scientists have saved millions of lives with modern medicine. Millions of lives were saved by the vaccine. However, many people were also hurt by the vaccine when it triggered latent microbes to become active. These people are still suffering, unable to return to their lives. And we should care. In the future, we might need to run tests on people to see if their system will be able to handle a vaccine.
By the way, Dr Rawls has a website where he lists the most common events that can trigger pathogens to become active. I want to disclose that a couple of the doctors that I have mentioned are selling herbal formulations as well as books. Some might think that they are just trying to make a buck off of people that are sick. I would have the same suspicion except they have battled Lyme themselves. When they had no doctors to turn to, they poured their lives into finding out how Lyme and other microbes behave as well as possible ways to put a lid on the microbes. I think they are on the right path. We just need other major institutions to join them. Recently, a few major Universities have woken up to the reality of Lyme and other microbes and have dedicated entire wings to find the better ways of getting a rapid diagnosis, as well as effective (holistic) treatment.
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I am not a doctor. I am not qualified to give advice on your personal healthcare. I’m obligated to tell you that you need to speak to your healthcare provider about diagnosis and treatment. I am, however, a person who has suffered every day from the brutal effects of what Lyme and other pathogens have done to my brain since they were activated by the vaccine. Like most “Lyme” patients, I look and sound fine on the outside. I go to work every day in hopes that the treatment I have sought out on my own will eventually make this nightmare come to an end. I pray and hope it does for others. I would be selfish not to share my honest story, so that others have a better chance—today and in the future. No one should have to give up their life at 22.
Finally, I want to thank every one of you that have reached out to try and give me hope to keep fighting through this. Many of the messages would come at a time when I just couldn’t do it any more. I’ve learned a lot on this journey. The things that matter most to me are things of a spiritual nature. I’ve learned that HOPE is one of the lights we can shine for others who are deep in the darkness. And every time you shine that light for others, it makes your own soul brighter.
JV
(Read my journey with Lyme Part 1 & Part 2)
If you are having thoughts of suicide please reach out for help at 1-800-273-8255.